The Worst

Police snatched a van containing 20 claymore mines in Mannar today. Claymore mines were the deadliest of bombs used by the LTTE on civilians during their reign of terror. To find 20 in one van makes me go...HOLY SONOFA*****. 1 mine would blow a crater the size of a small house; twenty would probably be mini-nuclear. I have only one question....who in their goddamn mind would even volunteer to carry 20 mines on a bumpy road with manic drivers whizzing past at ludicrous speeds. I'd like to meet that guy, and lobotomize him before he decides to launch 20 nuclear missiles just for the heck of it.

The Best

British lawmakers have cautioned that Britain is becoming a popular place for wanted men seeking refuge. Criminals, exiles and other notorious characters have been turning to the UK recently in order to escape punishment in their own countries. At last people who think they can escape justice in Britain will find jolly old England to be not so jolly anymore. Hopefully, all the criminals will be sent back to their home countries for the proper course of justice to take place.